Do I Live a Double Life?

“Do I live a double life?” …What a great question to ask ourselves.

A double life means that we behave one way around those we’re accountable to and another way when we’re alone. Some of us may behave honorably at work or school then treat our families with disrespect.

Wherever there is a double life, there is double mindedness. Double-mindedness is “inner duality.” In other words, living in double mindedness means we harbor simultaneously the mind of Christ and the unregenerate mind without Christ (Gal. 6:8).

A double life simply indicates that in our spiritual house we are struggling to manage territory that has not been surrendered to Christ. In other words, we are trying to manage “in our own way” territory that belongs to Him, and it’s causing problems.


doublemindsdWhen we live with two minds opposed to each other, we prevent ourselves from living victoriously. Imagine a two headed person, each mind with an opposing agenda. While we try to hold ourselves together, in the soul a war wages causing instability and ineffectiveness at the deepest level.

Surrendering territory is the bottom line goal of the spiritual growth process. We can surrender every last area we are aware of. Yet, there’s always another one to release to Him. Because God desires truth in the innermost parts (Ps. 51:6) in conformity to His image, the Lord always reveals corners or closets that still hide from His light.

When we surrender a territory to Him, we are the ones who benefit! In doing so, we  take one step away from double-mindedness and one step toward single-mindedness. The more hurting places we bring into the light, the less we hurt, and the more we heal. Our fragmented hearts become whole one issue at a time.

But acknowledging that place and presenting it to Him can feel scary. We ask Him to heal a painful area in our hearts that we hide from others, and even from ourselves. We hide it because it scares us. We hide it because we don’t know how to deal with it. We hide it because we don’t want to remember it ever again.

We may be champions at work, heroes at home, but when when we encounter that hidden area of the soul, we deflate into total wimps.

But that’s okay.

How so? Because the LORD understands that place. He saw it happen. He feels compassion on you in your pain. He doesn’t expect you to conquer it and clean it up on your own. You can’t. He’s inviting you into His personalized recovery program (recovery from the Fall) to build you back up where you’ve been torn down.

We may believe that these areas hidden away inside of us are unacceptable to Him. But nothing is further from the truth. Remember, on the cross, He BECAME our sin. So, He doesn’t just know all about it, He’s BECAME it. When you bring it to Him, He feels compassion for you, not condemnation. He is very familiar with it, sees that it’s hurting you, and wants to lead you to a better place.

When the Holy Spirit highlights darkness in our spiritual house, it is a gift from God! Receive the gift! He is inviting us to allow His light inside that dark place to cleanse and heal because He wants us to experience wholeness and freedom. If we wince at the idea of allowing the LORD access to that place to heal us, it’s because we don’t know Him very well yet.

We may not know that He is accepting of us right where we are. He is gentle. He is kind. He is sensitive and thoughtful. He is strong and helpful. He is extremely patient and full of empathy throughout the process.

Where is the LORD initiating healing in your life?

Is a situation recurring?

Is He knocking on the door of your heart?

When the LORD initiates healing in your life through a recurring problem, it’s a good thing. But there are two dangerous and counter-productive mistakes we can make along the way.  Things proceed much more smoothly when we steer around them.

The first mistake is to give ourselves condemnation and guilt over the issue. Since Christ at Calvary removed condemnation and paid for our guilt once and for all, He is not the giver of those spirits. Guilt and condemnation come to us through our flesh from the enemy who accuses us under the Law. And, boy, is he crafty and seductive in this. The LORD gives grace and conviction to those who come to Him for salvation and healing.

Condemnation and guilt are the opposite of grace and conviction.

The second mistake we can make is attempting merely to “perform better behavior.” This superficial tactic is flesh in action. In human understanding, flesh avoids the very issue that Christ wants to address. He wants to address the heart! He sees with empathy past the behavior right down into the deepest recesses of the heart.

Stop wasting your time performing for Him. He is not your earthly parent. He is not interested in your behavior when you think it distracts Him from the truth right there in your heart, fully visible to Him. He knows it all and understands it all from your view point. There’s no need for shame or embarrassment or hiding. He wants the best for you. He wants you to trust Him. He wants healing for your broken heart.

When we experience trouble, sin, struggles or pain, we are receiving an important signal from the Lord: that the heart needs attention in that area. We must not ignore the heart and strain merely to perform differently.

Think about it. When the check engine light blinks on your car dashboard, you don’t put a sticky note over it, do you? Of course not. 

So when we experience trouble, sin, struggles or pain, what should we do?

  1. Stop ignoring your problem. It comes up repeatedly for a reason. It arises as a gift from God for you to deal with it, and the corresponding heart issue.
  2. Stop allowing condemnation and guilt to dwell in your life with Christ. They don’t belong. If Christ doesn’t condemn and guilt us, we must not condemn and guilt ourselves (Rom. 8:1, Amos 3:3; Heb. 1:3b AMPC; 1 Cor. 6:11 AMPC).
  3. Receive God’s overflowing grace and acceptance, His complete and generous forgiveness, His powerful truth and conviction (maybe with tears) to begin heart healing.
  4. Ask Him to lead you to healing. Then be brave and follow Him.

All this takes place in the heart!


Stop wasting your time living a double life.

Be yourself and deal with your heart.

That’s what He wants, the real you!


When your issues arise, refuse denial and “better performance.” Instead, humble yourself in authenticity. Take a step toward single-mindedness. Pour out your heart to the LORD. Let Him love you in that hurting place.

Be real with Him in your heart.

Through all the situations He leads you through, get to know Him (Matt. 11:29). That’s the whole point of your journey. As you continue following, He will lead you to healing. He will lead you to peace. Ultimately, He will lead you away from the fragmentation and falsity of double-mindedness toward resting in the grace and authenticity of single-mindedness (Rom. 8:9) with Him. 


Galatians 6:8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

James 1:7-8 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Psalm 51:6 Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

Job 12:22 He reveals mysteries from the darkness And brings the deep darkness into light.

Job 18:28b The Lord my God illumines my darkness.

Romans 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Amos 3:3 Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?

1 Corinthians 6:17 But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Romans 8:9 You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.

About ashleydwille

Author Ashley D. Wille was always searching for spiritual answers. “True and lasting satisfaction always proved just out of reach. Now, in midlife, I have come to find my soul satiated in God. Through sweet surprises, difficult climbs, and excruciating valleys, the Master’s hand has shaped me. All along the way, God has taught me many things. What He has taught me most is that many of my beliefs about Him were wrong.” Her book, My Journey Through the Cross, is a personal insight shared by an amazing woman. Through her profound experiences and inner struggles, Wille shows how she was able to break through false layers of thinking and move into a deeper relationship with God. Her beautiful journey is just waiting to be shared. If you are ready to live your life free of guilt and shame, you too can learn how to walk in spiritual freedom.
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