Grief

My little bed is more comfortable now. I moved it up here on top of this rusted-out washer and dryer. I hung up the towel so it could dry. Then I folded it over the doubled-up rug I found under those boxes. Together they make a decent pad.

The floor was just too damp after the flood. Gosh, these cinder blocks sure do hold moisture when it rains for more than a day or two. Sorry about the smell. The moisture really started to show up soft and wrinkly here on my sleeping side. Yeah, my clothes stuck to me. I just had to move.

Basement Light
Basement Light (Photo credit: Sirius Rust)

Sometimes when the basement door’s cracked, that hall bulb throws a narrow ray of light down here on some of the old boxes, appliances and furniture. If you squint you can make out through the musty air some of the stuff crammed in these boxes from God knows when.

It’s too dark to see the decorative finish, but that headboard protruding under the joist there is pretty fancy. It was my grandmother’s. She was like a mother to me.

I’ve been down here ever since she left.

Some days I think about going upstairs.

Every morning I look over my shoulder to the top of the paint-chipped staircase to find my Friend, sitting there.

There He is now. Can you see the white robe?

Day after day, He waits for me.

He’s still waiting.

“Until I am ready,” He said.

One day maybe I’ll be ready, but not today. I just need to sleep. That’s all I really want to do.

~~~~~

We never move beyond a loss until we fully grieve it.

Psalm 31:9
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever

Psalm 56:8 You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted

Psalm 9:9 The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble

Psalm 3:3 But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all who are weary and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

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About ashleydwille

Author Ashley D. Wille was always searching for spiritual answers. “True and lasting satisfaction always proved just out of reach. Now, in midlife, I have come to find my soul satiated in God. Through sweet surprises, difficult climbs, and excruciating valleys, the Master’s hand has shaped me. All along the way, God has taught me many things. What He has taught me most is that many of my beliefs about Him were wrong.” Her book, My Journey Through the Cross, is a personal insight shared by an amazing woman. Through her profound experiences and inner struggles, Wille shows how she was able to break through false layers of thinking and move into a deeper relationship with God. Her beautiful journey is just waiting to be shared. If you are ready to live your life free of guilt and shame, you too can learn how to walk in spiritual freedom.
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