How to Love Your Wife

Not much in this world impresses me, but with this man I am impressed. Ken Nair is his name.

Ken Nair, I have found, is a man who has been greatly humbled. He is also a man who listens to God. But he doesn’t just listen to God.

Ken listens to God in his marriage relationship. Shhh…I know it’s safe to say that not many men do that.

In Ken’s own words…
“Having grown up in orphanages, I was not familiar with what a home, marriage or family should look like. Growing up like this I resolved to have a meaningful marriage and family. However, reality set in and after thirteen years of conducting my marriage as the Christian community had instructed me, all hopes and plans for a happy marriage began disintegrating.

God started teaching me some valuable lessons through experiences which caused me severe emotional trauma. I began to understand how my negative character had emotionally affected my wife and children. I also made some Scriptural discoveries I’d never heard before, even though I had grown up in the church. I discovered that when these Scriptural principles were diligently applied to my life, there was an amazingly positive effect on my marriage.

“Seven years later, our married friends said they saw noticeable changes in me. Due to their insistent prompting, I began teaching them how to apply the same principles I had found in Scripture. They all soon noticed the dynamic effects on their marriages.”

Ken is the author of several books on marriage and Christ-likeness, including Discovering the Mind of a Woman and Understanding the Heart of a Man .

Ken and Nancy Nair

God has taught Ken what every believing husband needs to learn: to live in touch with his own spirit, the spirit of God living within him since the believer is one spirit with God (1 Cor. 6:17). Ken has asked hundreds of husbands whether they 1) were in touch with their own spirits and 2) understood the mind of a woman. He testifies that never once has he met a husband who was in touch with his own spirit, understood the mind of a woman, or much less, one who even knew what he was talking about.

The husband’s awareness of his own spirit, Ken teaches, enables him to be in touch with his wife’s spirit because together they are one (Eph. 5:31) in the marriage relationship. In parallel to the relationship between Christ and the church, the husband’s Christ-likeness and his sensitivity to his wife’s spirit are the keys to the spiritual connection that creates a successful and satisfying marriage.

Ephesians 5:25-27 says,
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,
That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].

In spite of many superficial teachings I have heard, the passage in Ephesians 5 is not just telling husbands to read the Bible to their wives. That purely logical inference is a product of human reasoning and Ken’s ministry has confirmed that conclusion (1 Cor. 2:12-14). Jesus Christ is the living Word of God (John 1:14, 5:39) and husbands loving their wives via the spirit of God is what cleanses their wives. When a husband loves his wife and gives himself up for her in the spirit of Christ, she naturally becomes sanctified through him so that he can present her spotless.

According to this Biblical principle, Ken’s powerful ministry, called, has saved and healed thousands of marriages that were struggling and many on the brink of divorce.

Ken and his wife, Nancy, know first hand of the misery and chaos that husbands can bring upon their marriages and families through failing to walk in touch with their own spirits, and thus failing to stay in touch with their wives’ spirits. Ken and Nancy’s marriage and Ken’s relationship with his three daughters suffered for years as a result of his stubbornness, spiritual ignorance and lack of discipleship. It was only when God tapped him on the shoulder and showed him his error that He got through to Ken’s spirit and things began to change supernaturally for the better.

Since that time, Ken has made amends with his wife and daughters and now enjoys a supernaturally connected, loved and contented wife and family. He also has discipled his daughters’ husbands so that they, too, can follow in Ken’s steps and love their wives as Christ loves the church. In answering God’s call to manhood by laying down his life to follow Christ in his marriage, Ken has been blessed with a one-of-a-kind marriage ministry that is rocking the body of Christ couple-by-couple.

Through decades of attending various churches over the years up and down the East Coast, I’ve never once heard this Scriptural teaching on marriage. But it hits the nail on the head. It certainly has hit my husband, Thom, on the head. Ouch.

If this life-changing message were out in the mainstream churches, we would no doubt see divorce rates among believers plummet.

If you want to assess a ministry, look at its fruit. This one’s bursting with healed marriages, including mine.

Husbands need help. And Ken’s the one to deliver.

John 1:14
And the Word (Christ) became flesh (human, incarnate) and tabernacled (fixed His tent of flesh, lived awhile) among us; and we [actually] saw His glory (His honor, His majesty), such glory as an only begotten son receives from his father, full of grace (favor, loving-kindness) and truth.

John 5:39
You search and investigate and pore over the Scriptures diligently, because you suppose and trust that you have eternal life through them. And these [very Scriptures] testify about Me!

1 Corinthians 2:12-14
Now we have not received the spirit [that belongs to] the world, but the [Holy] Spirit Who is from God, [given to us] that we might realize and comprehend and appreciate the gifts [of divine favor and blessing so freely and lavishly] bestowed on us by God.
And we are setting these truths forth in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the [Holy] Spirit, combining and interpreting spiritual truths with spiritual language [to those who possess the Holy Spirit].
But the natural, nonspiritual man does not accept or welcome or admit into his heart the gifts and teachings and revelations of the Spirit of God, for they are folly (meaningless nonsense) to him; and he is incapable of knowing them [of progressively recognizing, understanding, and becoming better acquainted with them] because they are spiritually discerned and estimated and appreciated.

1 Corinthians 6:17
But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.

Ephesians 5:25-32
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word,
That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].
Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church,
Because we are members (parts) of His body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.


About ashleydwille

Author Ashley D. Wille was always searching for spiritual answers. “True and lasting satisfaction always proved just out of reach. Now, in midlife, I have come to find my soul satiated in God. Through sweet surprises, difficult climbs, and excruciating valleys, the Master’s hand has shaped me. All along the way, God has taught me many things. What He has taught me most is that many of my beliefs about Him were wrong.” Her book, My Journey Through the Cross, is a personal insight shared by an amazing woman. Through her profound experiences and inner struggles, Wille shows how she was able to break through false layers of thinking and move into a deeper relationship with God. Her beautiful journey is just waiting to be shared. If you are ready to live your life free of guilt and shame, you too can learn how to walk in spiritual freedom.
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One Response to How to Love Your Wife

  1. Pingback: Feel the Pain | ashleydwille

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