One morning coming out of a very deep sleep, I stretched hard to help myself wake up. While trying to come to consciousness I noticed that the fan we sometimes run in the bedroom during the summer months was pulsating. This was unusual because the fan is not a pulsating or oscillating fan.
As I listened, it slowly dawned on me that the pulsation was not the fan at all. When I had stretched, my pulse had increased in rhythm and intensity to begin pounding loudly inside my neck, right next to my ear. What I was actually hearing was my blood flow distorting the noise of the fan.
My youngest daughter called to me one afternoon, “Mom, can you make my pear?!”
“Can I make your pear? What? I can’t hear you,” I responded, straining to hear her from the kitchen stove as I had been fighting a head cold for the past two days.
“Can-you-straighten-my-hair??” she asked again approaching me from in front of the foyer mirror, flat-iron in hand.
“Oh, yes! Of course I can,” I replied giggling to myself, my daughter rolling her eyes half-annoyingly, half-playfully.
In these two instances, my inner condition distorted my perception of what was happening around me: (1) my pulse distorted the noise of the fan and (2) my congestion distorted the words. These were physical conditions, but sometimes distorting conditions within us run deeper than pulses or colds. We have mental and emotional memories of everything we’ve ever said or done buried in our subconscious minds. We have stored within as well everything that others have said or done to us. That’s a lot of buried memories.
For example, I have often shared the story of projecting my once distant relationship with my dad on to my husband. Until I located and addressed my buried father wound, I could not make much headway in my relationship with my husband.
Are you aware of any personal behaviors that you’d like to leave behind?
Do you ever ask yourself, “Why do I keep overreacting like that?” or “Why is this person so annoying to me?”
Well, the behavior or annoyance could be rooted in a memory that is distorting your perception of life. Ask God to reveal the relevant memory for you so that you can begin to deal with it in your time alone with Him, in a small group, with a therapist, by researching the topic on the web or listening to a Christian talk show which deals with like issues (See newlife.)
Just as I located the pulse, congestion and father wound, we can locate and gently address the inner factor(s) that perpetuate our distortions and over time enjoy seeing life more clearly and objectively, and living in progressive freedom, one issue at a time.
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
You hypocrite, first get the beam of timber out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother’s eye.
1 Corinthians 13:12
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.